Yesterday, myself and my Mam went over IKEA, Ballymun. My previous IKEA experiences have always left me depressed and wanting to break in to the place at night so I can live there; a pretty normal reaction, I think. Mam seldom lets me drive, which would be fine if she wasn’t so obvious about trying to trap me in her car so she can drive really slow and force ‘the chats’ on me. Normally, I wouldn’t admit this but you’ve got to hand it to her, she’s nifty when she needs to be.
This time the chat was about my weight – surprise, surprise – with college finishing in May and my routine soon to be shattered, Mam thought my new goal could be to lose weight in my free time. (Is that why I’m fat, because I don’t have much free time?!) I didn’t have much of an argument for her; yes it would benefit my health – what can you say to that? At least she’s consistent and always comes armed and ready to bribe me. Conversations like this with my Mam are generally quite funny with a sour after taste. It’s only when I get home I realise how much time and money my parents are willing to throw at me to motivate my weight loss. Yes, I’m relatively happy the way I am but I’m also very good at ignoring things like my diabetes tests last summer and how my thyroid/ovaries affect my organs and my health. If I’m not suffering with hot flashes or headaches, well, I’m a class A pretender.
Do any of you guys feel pressure from parents/family/friends to lose weight for your health?
Anyway, the conversation lead on to one of my 2011 resolutions – learn to sew and make a dress – Mam suggested I would have no need to learn if I lost weight. Absolutely not. I’m still Amazonian in height, proved perfectly well by my black, croc dress from Forever 21 Plus Sizes. (Will post as an outfit soon) It’s so short, the slit on the back lines up with another slit, that’s as subtle as I get. Literally could not wear it without thick leggings or I’d be scaring children everywhere I went. The whole exchange got me thinking about blogging and my desire to sew/be crafty. What would happen if I did lose weight? Say I was a size 14, in fashion terms I’m still plus size, but in the real world I’m not. Could I still write about plus size issues and fashion without feeling like a total hypocrite? I’d be healthier and live longer, but some might view it as turning my back on curves. I know I’d still be curvier than your average bear, but it still worries me. And then there’s my sewing dreams – why aren’t more plus size girls making clothes for themselves instead of depending on stores to produce them for us? I mean, I’m not always happy with high street stock, so my plan is to try make something myself.
I think I mentioned before, I have this innate desire to have my life set in stone and every so often niggling questions like this come along and trip me up. Thinking about making a dress (I have no idea what it really entails so I’m sure my daydreams are hilarious to a seasoned sewer) really gets me excited. In fact, I’m excited about finishing college so I can get started. That can’t be a bad thing, can it?