I arrived home from London on Saturday afternoon to a gloomy, Irish sky, rain spattered windows and the cleanest breath of fresh air I can ever remember taking. London overwhelmed me and having never considered myself a home-bird before, I was surprised to find myself fighting the happiness tears when my plane landed. Stupid, bloody, emotions. I fucking love Ireland. There, I said it. It’s shite, I know, but it’s my shite and I love it.
Realising my die-hard love for home, my emotions went all ‘womanly’ and the last two days have seen my crying over car ads on TV, my cat cleaning herself and spilling tea on my shoe. Engulfed by all this Dublin-joy, I somehow blocked out all the amazing experiences I had while I was away. All I could think about was the insanely dead heat of the city, the loneliness of the busy streets, how claustrophobic I felt walking through Shepherds Bush with the constant bus fumes, longing for a cold breath of clean air; something I can have whenever I want thanks to my lovely back garden. Having all of those post-London negative thoughts made me put off writing about it for a few days. I’ve never been away on my own like that before, so it’s best to wait for my old friend, hindsight, to pop over before I start blabbing about my course and the city, only to read it a day later and completely disagree with it.
While I was there, everything moved so fast. The days literally melted in to one another, and as I was on my own, I just dealt with it. It freaked me out how large London is compared to Dublin and how home, for me, means luxury. I wouldn’t say that I am spoiled, but in reality, on some levels I am. I’m comfortable here in Dublin and if I don’t want to go out when it’s too warm, I don’t. I never really saw this as an issue until I came home and realised how I make problems out of silly things that everyone else has to deal with. Sometimes, if you want to do something, you just have to deal with the shite that comes along with it, even if it’s something as silly as commuting. I realise I must sound very negative, but it really has been a positive experience for me. Not that my course wasn’t enjoyable, but I felt I came home with more than just photography experience. Today, I went for a walk. Randomly. Something I would never do. I got up early and started sorting through stupid things I’ve been putting off for months. I didn’t think about it; I did it. Normally, I spend that long debating over whether or not to do something, the opportunity passes me by. If anything, I feel like the old pro-active side of me has been re-ignited, and since I was in a situation where I couldn’t do anything but make the best of it, that’s what I did. London made me see how lazy I am. You can fit so much in to a day if you just get up and do it. Even as a chunky-monkey who sweats like crazy in the heat or has difficulty walking because of the chaffe, I just got on with it. I would never do that at home.
I’m really happy I went. I got a lot more from it than I expected to and that’s only a good thing.
I’m going to break my trip up in to a few posts as I’m still sifting through photos and letting hindsight lead me.
No more crying and being emotional!