LDN: Part 1 – Home, sweet, bloody, home.

I arrived home from London on Saturday afternoon to a gloomy, Irish sky, rain spattered windows and the cleanest breath of fresh air I can ever remember taking. London overwhelmed me and having never considered myself a home-bird before, I was surprised to find myself fighting the happiness tears when my plane landed. Stupid, bloody, emotions. I fucking love Ireland. There, I said it. It’s shite, I know, but it’s my shite and I love it.

Realising my die-hard love for home, my emotions went all ‘womanly’ and the last two days have seen my crying over car ads on TV, my cat cleaning herself and spilling tea on my shoe. Engulfed by all this Dublin-joy, I somehow blocked out all the amazing experiences I had while I was away. All I could think about was the insanely dead heat of the city, the loneliness of the busy streets, how claustrophobic I felt walking through Shepherds Bush with the constant bus fumes, longing for a cold breath of clean air; something I can have whenever I want thanks to my lovely back garden. Having all of those post-London negative thoughts made me put off writing about it for a few days. I’ve never been away on my own like that before, so it’s best to wait for my old friend, hindsight, to pop over before I start blabbing about my course and the city, only to read it a day later and completely disagree with it.

While I was there, everything moved so fast. The days literally melted in to one another, and as I was on my own, I just dealt with it. It freaked me out how large London is compared to Dublin and how home, for me, means luxury. I wouldn’t say that I am spoiled, but in reality, on some levels I am. I’m comfortable here in Dublin and if I don’t want to go out when it’s too warm, I don’t. I never really saw this as an issue until I came home and realised how I make problems out of silly things that everyone else has to deal with. Sometimes, if you want to do something, you just have to deal with the shite that comes along with it, even if it’s something as silly as commuting. I realise I must sound very negative, but it really has been a positive experience for me. Not that my course wasn’t enjoyable, but I felt I came home with more than just photography experience. Today, I went for a walk. Randomly. Something I would never do. I got up early and started sorting through stupid things I’ve been putting off for months. I didn’t think about it; I did it. Normally, I spend that long debating over whether or not to do something, the opportunity passes me by. If anything, I feel like the old pro-active side of me has been re-ignited, and since I was in a situation where I couldn’t do anything but make the best of it, that’s what I did. London made me see how lazy I am. You can fit so much in to a day if you just get up and do it. Even as a chunky-monkey who sweats like crazy in the heat or has difficulty walking because of the chaffe, I just got on with it. I would never do that at home.

I’m really happy I went. I got a lot more from it than I expected to and that’s only a good thing.

I’m going to break my trip up in to a few posts as I’m still sifting through photos and letting hindsight lead me.

No more crying and being emotional!

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10 thoughts on “LDN: Part 1 – Home, sweet, bloody, home.

  1. getting a bit emotional myself reading this.
    it’s survival kicking in when you’re on your own like that. the self motivation that comes along with it is crazy, and london, despite how much i love it, can be so lonely sometimes, as we briefly touched on when we met up. different culture! looking forward to reading the rest of your posts, and i also enjoyed the delicious home air over the weekend x

  2. I’m glad to see that you turned what was maybe a negative experience into a positive one – although I’m sure that you felt challenged at the time at least you can take something from it – looking forward to reading your other posts.

    • Awh, thanks Lorraine. It has definitely been a positive experience and I’m already thinking about going again. I felt so silly when I got home though. It’s not as if I’m a kid or anything. At 24 I should be able to look after myself but the whole city just swallowed me up!

  3. This has Abe + Oz written all over it!

    As a whole, my 4 month stint in Oz was a bit of a failure. I was messed about with a job, lost opps to make friends by stayin with mates vs hostels, and did almost ZERO tourism 😦

    But the sense I came too was priceless. I left for Oz feelin pissed off with my life here, convinced I’d do all in my power to never return. But alas, the grass was never any greener (Greener than IRELAND, what the hell was I thinkin!)

    And now for the first time, in a LONG time, I love Ireland. it really is a special place. Yeah, the weathers shite and its full of scobes, but it suits me down to the ground in so many ways.

    The happiness I was lookin for was here all along 🙂

    • That’s it. I’m annoyed I didn’t go on the London Eye or get a boat down the Thames, but I’m also really glad I didn’t, because I had to live there for two weeks as apposed to holiday there. I was lucky I was doing the the course though because I made some lovely friends there. I’m just freaking out a little because the whole point of the trip was to visit the college, check out the area and see if it’s somewhere I could spend a year. I’m just doubting myself now for a million different reasons, one which will be covered in a post about the course. Bah!

  4. I love Dublin too! You should have seen the smile on my face sitting on the bus from the airport a few weeks ago, I was so happy being back!
    Too bad we didn’t get to meet up but I’m happy for you that the trip has been so meaningful. A life experience!
    Can’t wait to see the images!

  5. Haha, it’s so funny about you writing about how overwhelming London was, cause that’s how I have often felt in Dublin at my most lonly :p But I guess when you know you’re staying somewhere for longer than two weeks you have a different approach two things and you learn how to deal with everything as you go along… But of course I love and miss Dubs too, and I’m really looking forward to coming back… ❤

  6. Pingback: LND: Fashion Photography Summer School @ LCF « lions and tigers and sara, oh my!

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