Usually, the summer heat brings me lots of sweat and anxiety. Going outside, a relatively simple endeavour, can pose ridiculous problems for the heavier/taller lady, all of which usually warrant the response “oh, really?” as if I’m trying to get out of something horrible. When it comes to stepping out in to the heat, I have to plan everything. Why? Well, I’ve grown quite attached to the skin on my thighs and would, at all costs, like to keep it. Summer chaffing is my enemy and I go to extreme lengths to avoid it. For me, being nearly 6ft means I haven’t been able to find tights that fit comfortably, or allow me to go to the toilet, in years. I think it goes without saying that tights would be a welcome relief from their thicker sister, leggings, but since I can’t find any to fit comfortably, I’m left with them or bare legs. In the past I’ve attempted to tackle this issue by cutting the feet off tights, wearing bicycle shorts and using various powders and creams. None have worked for me. I am determined to over come my tights issue and find some that not only fit, but allow me to go to the toilet at least once without the whole gusset ripping.
Personally, shopping for tights in Ireland, particularly in Dublin, shouldn’t be the big issue it is. We are not restricted to the local shopping centre, Dunnes or Shaws. Having said that, there are only two places I’m aware of who stock tights in ridiculous sizes: New Look’s Inspire section and Evans.
I’ve seen Inspire tights a few times in the Tallaght/Liffey Valley stores. The few times I’ve been blessed to see any styles bar fishnets, I’ve been window shopping and said I’d pop back. Every time I pop back there’s no sign of them, which leads me to believe there are women in a similar situation to me, furiously snapping them up as soon as they see them. Also, I can’t find them on the New Look website; somewhere I spend far too much time.
Evans is my second stop. As mentioned in the previous post, Evans are in my bad books at the moment. Bold! However, they are the only store to stocking tights, in various patterns and colours, up to a size 32. (As I can’t find the Inspire tights online, and didn’t see them in store over the weekend, I can’t be certain what size/height they cater for.) This may seem like a giant hurray moment, but it’s not. Today, I’m wearing a delicious sparkly silver pair from Evans in Liffey Valley. The gusset nearly comes the whole way up to my lady garden and I managed to stroll comfortably in them for around an hour today while at the IADT graduate exhibition. That’s a vital point; they would not withstand any kind of ‘I’m heading for the bus’ walking. Heavens, no. They are beautiful, but I’ve stretched them to the point where they are almost completely transparent, meaning they don’t look as beautiful as they should and there’s not a lot of give for pulling them up or nipping to the toilet. If only I had no bowels. If only.
Before I nipped out today, I went through the mandatory ‘is this dress too short with the tights’ check with my Mam. They are always too short. It’s the long legs curse, but leggings make short skirts acceptable. My Mam gave out to me for pulling and my tights and I said there was no give as I’d literally had to squish myself in to them. She mentioned the tights she buys in Dunnes are XL and there’s loads of room in them. Of course there is. Mam is a dainty size 12 and at a push maybe 5ft 6. How is it that she needs XL tights? I should be buying those.
Instead, I just about fit in to and Evans size 3: for the lady of 5ft 7 – 5ft 10 (I’m 5ft 11 according to Tallaght Hospital. Thanks guys!) and dress size 28 -32. It physically makes me feel disheartened when I think that my dress size is generally an 18. My jeans are an 18 long from New Look. Sometimes I buy dresses in a 20 for extra boob room. Boo-urns, you guys.
I’ve been saying for ages now that I’m going to learn how to alter my clothes, but tights aren’t really something you can alter. Hopefully the interweb produces some delicious fitting tights. Fingers crossed.