Kelsey

Hi, Internet!

It’s been a while, eh?

Well, here’s the news: I’ve moved over to Kelsey.ie. Wahay!

Come say hai, won’t you?

Sara x

Hello, gym.

As you may have guessed from my clever title, I’ve joined the gym. Well, rejoined.

The gym is scary, intimidating and sweaty. Much like my PCOS and sleepy thyroid. Over the last year, my final year in college, my symptoms have been such a drain. A daily drain. During third year, I tackled my IBS, headaches and flushes with copious amounts of immodium, motilium, rennies, any painkiller small enough to swallow and a dark bedroom. As the year passed by me, I began to notice the detrimental impact these habits have had on my mental health. Bringing immodium to a festival is smart. Refusing to leave the house without taking it is not.

I take stock of my life all the time. Everyone does. We think about our lives and we make plans. My final year was full of plans, but deep down I knew I physically wasn’t able for them. I took a hard look at my situation and made the most natural decision; it’s time to look after my health. Every time I joined Weight Watchers, the gym, started going for walks or just watched my portion sizes, it was purely for vanity. Yes, I knew my health would improve, but it was never the motivation behind my change. My failed changes.

My sparse blogging has opened my eyes to the amazing community of ‘plus size’/'size inclusive’ women writing about their experiences online. I started blogging out of fashion frustration. It’s difficult to find clothes at my height/size. I wanted to accept my size and be strong enough to say no to the constant pressure to lose weight. That is exactly what has happened. Only the outcome is a little different than I originally expected.

I’ve said it to my parents and friends countless times: I can deal with my size. I have accepted my body. I don’t wake up and think I’m horrible. I have bad days, but they are few and far between. However, I cannot and will not live with these symptoms anymore. I feel unreliable because I am unreliable. I am tired of missing out on life.

My symptoms irritate me daily. I miss out daily. I feel unwell daily. Instead of actually doing something every day to combat them, I took immodium and skipped meals. There will always be this niggling part of me that wants to lose weight, but it was never enough to motivate me. Now, I’m going to the gym and thinking about the headache I’m not going to have later and the upset stomach that won’t be keeping me at home this weekend.

So, today marks half way through week three and I’m sure I’ve lost a few pounds. That’s great. It all helps. The best part is knowing after less than three weeks of exercise I haven’t had a migraine, my flushes have already reduced and my stomach, well, it’s rebelling against the exercise, but we’ll get there.

HAI

Saying it’s been a while feels like such an understatement.
Finally finished college, joined the gym and blogging will resume normally very soon.
To the lovely readers who took the time to e-mail me, I’m sorry I haven’t replied to you yet. I will, I promise.

x

Dear, Ireland.

Dear, Ireland.

Lately, my brain has felt a little like smush. It’s all about the thesis right now, but I’ve been allowing myself to think about what lies ahead as a soon-to-be graduate. Not fun.

You are in my bad books.

I don’t want to emigrate. I don’t want my friends to emigrate. I’m anxious about how the next year will affect my mental health. How will I support myself?

I don’t think anyone knows what’s going to happen in 2011, but I have decided I will be staying here. I’m not leaving my home because of the mistakes another generation made. I want to be part of a generation that provides for the next, and I can’t help if I’m not here.

I think it might be time to stop talking about what I’m against and start finding things I’m for.

I am not leaving you and I’ll do everything I can to fix you.

Love, Sara.

P.S. Don’t think you’re off the hook just because I’m staying.

 

Mammy bribes (rant alert)

Yesterday, myself and my Mam went over IKEA, Ballymun. My previous IKEA experiences have always left me depressed and wanting to break in to the place at night so I can live there; a pretty normal reaction, I think. Mam seldom lets me drive, which would be fine if she wasn’t so obvious about trying to trap me in her car so she can drive really slow and force ‘the chats’ on me. Normally, I wouldn’t admit this but you’ve got to hand it to her, she’s nifty when she needs to be.

This time the chat was about my weight – surprise, surprise – with college finishing in May and my routine soon to be shattered, Mam thought my new goal could be to lose weight in my free time. (Is that why I’m fat, because I don’t have much free time?!) I didn’t have much of an argument for her; yes it would benefit my health – what can you say to that? At least she’s consistent and always comes armed and ready to bribe me. Conversations like this with my Mam are generally quite funny with a sour after taste. It’s only when I get home I realise how much time and money my parents are willing to throw at me to motivate my weight loss. Yes, I’m relatively happy the way I am but I’m also very good at ignoring things like my diabetes tests last summer and how my thyroid/ovaries affect my organs and my health. If I’m not suffering with hot flashes or headaches, well, I’m a class A pretender.

Do any of you guys feel pressure from parents/family/friends to lose weight for your health?

Anyway, the conversation lead on to one of my 2011 resolutions – learn to sew and make a dress – Mam suggested I would have no need to learn if I lost weight. Absolutely not. I’m still Amazonian in height, proved perfectly well by my black, croc dress from Forever 21 Plus Sizes. (Will post as an outfit soon) It’s so short, the slit on the back lines up with another slit, that’s as subtle as I get. Literally could not wear it without thick leggings or I’d be scaring children everywhere I went. The whole exchange got me thinking about blogging and my desire to sew/be crafty. What would happen if I did lose weight? Say I was a size 14, in fashion terms I’m still plus size, but in the real world I’m not. Could I still write about plus size issues and fashion without feeling like a total hypocrite? I’d be healthier and live longer, but some might view it as turning my back on curves. I know I’d still be curvier than your average bear, but it still worries me. And then there’s my sewing dreams – why aren’t more plus size girls making clothes for themselves instead of depending on stores to produce them for us? I mean, I’m not always happy with high street stock, so my plan is to try make something myself.

I think I mentioned before, I have this innate desire to have my life set in stone and every so often niggling questions like this come along and trip me up. Thinking about making a dress (I have no idea what it really entails so I’m sure my daydreams are hilarious to a seasoned sewer) really gets me excited. In fact, I’m excited about finishing college so I can get started. That can’t be a bad thing, can it?

Shoes you can wear forever.

In 2004, my Mam bought me a pair of UGGs as a ‘well done, you managed to make it through secondary school without totally losing the plot’ present. I wore them in to the ground, which is understandable as they were my first pair of knee boots, period. My calves were chunky even then and I was yet to discover the wide-width-heaven that is Evans. When my UGG’s died, Mam brought me back some EMU boots from America. Practically the same thing, really. Pretty sure I’ve been living in the same EMU style for the last three-four years. I’ve definitely gone through a few pairs thanks to my conveniently placed family in Philadelphia – jokes on you, customs! Actually, hang on – 2004 was not three-four years ago. Wow. Okay. I’m old. *Having a moment….*

Ahem. My current EMU’s get worn everywhere. They’re warm, they’re black and they’re wrecked. If there wasn’t a nice splatter of white paint on them I reckon I wouldn’t be breaking up with them. As much as I love feeling like I strolling on clouds and wearing slippers everywhere, I think it might be time to move on and embrace a new pair of boots. My EMUs have done me proud, lasted for years at a time and I want something that’ll compete in the durability department. I’d also like something a little more tailored and feminine; as comfortable as my EMUs are, they kind of look like a pile of mush around my feet.

Say hello to my alternative: Dr. Martens ‘Darcie’ – Something tells me they may not be as comfortable first try, but I’m prepared to do some serious house walking to wear them in.

What do you guys think?

Happy New Year!

Hello, 2011. These are the things I’m going to do during you:

• Buy a new bed.
• Redecorate my bedroom.
• Decorate and organise my study area. (nerd alert)
• GRADUATE COLLEGE!
• Apply for 100 million jobs.
• Redesign my blog and post more often.
• Be more social.
• Drive less.
• Walk more.
• Drink more green tea.
• Find a substitute for chicken.
• Wear more dresses.
• Go to England to see my family.
• Live my strobist dreams with some new flashguns.
• Go for lunch more.
• Go on a picnic.
• Do a make up course.
• Learn to sew and make a dress.
• Do some web design work for my Dad.
• Shoot lots of film and put my new scanner to good use.
• Wear heels…outside.
• Stop over thinking everything.

A simple list, I think. Happy 2011 everyone. Hope you make it through your lists and have an amazing year x

2011 Fashion Resolutions

Hello, I’m Sara and I am a die-hard list maker.

New Years is one of the few times of year I can do some serious list making without looking like a total dork. Heaven. While I usually make resolutions I never stick to, I love the feeling of a fresh start each year with lots of possibilities.

What are you guys planning for your wardrobe in 2011?

1) Goodbye, jeans. Hello, dresses.

After spending the last year searching for a pair to suit both my height and chunkyness, I’ve decided to embrace my jeans-less wardrobe. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I wore a pair. I’ll just buy more dresses. Oh, no!

If you do fall in to the tall/chunky category, New Look’s Tall section stocks up to a size 18 and Dorothy Perkins’ Tall section goes up to a size 22, both of which have a maximum length of 36″. Excellent. My only issue is the low waist. Seeing as I’m carrying some spare tyres around my middle, low waist jeans leave everything to hang out. No thank you.

I live in dresses so it’s about time I start embracing them. On my 2011 wish list so far is this gorgeous sailor dress from Pin Up Couture. Also available on ModCloth.

Next up is the tulle skirt. I’m crushing on everything available from Ouma on Etsy, especially the hand dyed tea length skirt, which was also worn by Jay from Fatshionable when she visited New York this year. Nom. Alternatively, Get Go Retro do a custom tea length skirt and ‘Carrie’ tutu inspired by Sex and the City.

Hand Dyed Tea Length Tulle Skirt by Ouma

 

Clouds of Cotton Candy dress by Ouma

Tea Length Tulle Tutu Skirt by Get Go Retro

2) Oh hai, pale face.

I’m Irish. We get very little sun. Even when we do get the occasional summer rays, I’m grand inside. I’m pale, pasty and had very fair hair until my ovaries switched themselves off a few years back. When I was younger I swam, a lot, so I never really embraced the whole fake tan movement. The chlorine would melt it off in an hour anyway. I also suffer with sporadic combination skin. One day it’s super oily, the next day I wake up with half my face peeling off. Whoda thunk your ovaries could affect so much? I think it’s finally time to embrace some kind of skin regime, so here we go:

Nicola Roberts – Dainty Doll Foundation

Dainty Doll foundation by Nicola Roberts

Available on ASOS. The foundation, which comes in 3 shades, Ivory, Porcelain and White,  is currently sold out – not surprising when it’s priced at under £12. Haven’t been able to find anywhere stocking the brand in Ireland, although Jelly Pong Pong, who collaborated with Nicola on Dainty Doll, stock products in The Ivory Closet, Limerick. Their site isn’t up yet, so not sure if they’re stocking Nicola’s range. Fingers crossed the ASOS stock is replenished soon.

Alison Raffaele – Reality Base Foundation

Alison Raffaele - Reality Base Foundation

Stumbled across this product after searching through ever informative forum on Beaut.ie. On the forum, Synchronicity linked to a foundation matrix on Temptalia, which lists foundation brands and more importantly, those catering for light skin. A little more expensive than Dainty Doll, but $38 (around 28e) is hardly breaking the bank.

Proactiv

Proactiv Solution

When I was 19, just before I decided to stop swimming I went to Philadelphia for a while to stay with my family and scout out some colleges. I remember watching infomercials for Proactiv with Jessica Simpson on them and immediately being sucked in. It wasn’t until I finally stopped swimming and my ovaries went mental that my skin problems started. I’d never say I have bad skin, but it’s patchy and has a mind of its own. I think Proactiv is one of those products I just need to try. You can order online from their .co.uk (links to .ie for hiked up euro prices) or international sites. Personally, I’m going to order from the international site as it works out a little cheaper and the product combinations are different. Let’s see how it goes!

3) The Tall Doll

Shoes. I love shoes. I also love bags. The chubby girls go to pieces when nothing else fits. I tend to accumulate bags as I’m so tall. My plan for 2011 is to give the fingers to my tallness and wear whatever shoes I want, starting with a delicious pair of Jeffrey Campbell ‘Raid’ Wedges from Sole Struck. I’ve been watching them all year and can’t wait until they arrive, especially seeing as they have the Acne ‘Alexa’ metal bottom. Plus, when I bought them this morning, I refreshed the page and it said they were no longer available. Take that for a sign!

Jeffrey Campbell

Jeffrey Campbell 'Raid' Wedge

4) Multicoloured legs

I can’t say goodbye to jeans without stocking up on some alternative leg wear. I usually buy my leggings from Matalan, aka my Mam buys them when she goes over to the U.K. Super cheap, long and stretchy and last for ages against the chub-rub. 

We Love Colors – Plus Size Tights

Solid Colour Plus Size Tights by We Love Color

I’ve already made one tights purchase from We Love Colors and I’ve been wearing them nearly every day. Will be buying lots more from their plus size section in 2011. They have 51 colours to choose from, how could I not?

Sock Dreams

Zurich Texture Tights by Sock Dreams

Also, can’t wait to get some thigh high (will totally be knee high on me) socks from Sock Dreams. They’ve a lovely plus size section with socks, fishnets, thigh highs and garters in every style you can think of.

Digital Socket Awards & State Gallery 2010

Ok, so this has nothing to do with fashion or curvy loveliness, but it is photography related and well, I’m just so delighted. Today has been a lovely day.

Much to my total swoony surprise, I’ve been included on the Digital Socket Awards’ longlist for ‘Best Music Photography’. A giant thank you to Nay and Ronan for putting so much time and effort in to this lovely new endeavour. Fingers crossed it all goes well and will be back next year. x

Digital Socket Awards || Digital Socket Facebook || Digital Socket Twitter

Also, I couldn’t possibly mention this news with saying CONGRATS to all the amazing State Magazine photographers who also made it on to the longlist. (Sean Conroy, Kieran Frost, James Goulden, Damien McGlynn, Alessio Michelini, Alan Moore and our lovely photo editor, Loreana Rushe.) Our 2010 gallery went online today with all the best shots from this year. It’s lovely, so go have a look!

Bualadh bos!

The Art of: Self Portraits

Today, a postal warrior trekked to my house to deliver my new Interfit stand. Joy! (My joy was crushed by a second postal warrior who brought a double bass for my brother. I could fit in the box it was so big. Outshone my little stand in an instant so I thought I’d share it with you guys.) Now, my lovely stand is hardly glamorous, but a total necessity when you need a second pair of hands, particularly for self portraits. I’m pretty sure my brother is sick of holding my massive reflector at this stage, but it’s also irritating when I want to try a simple shot at home and can’t do it without help.

There she is, in all her standy glory.

The delivery got me thinking about the self portraits and outfit posts I’ve planned to include in my thesis project. I’ve been holding out on starting them until next semester, which is giving me a little bit of time to research and plan – essential – and make my life easier by acquiring cheap hands like my stand and reflector.

Okay, so I know I’m looking at this from a photography perspective, but how do you guys plan your self portraits and outfit shots?

What is your main objective – to show the outfit in all its glory or create an image similar to commercial/editorial magazine content?

What is it about self portraits that appeal to you so much?

I’m always curious about how other minds work when it comes to creative content like this. Personally, my answer is a mix of both. All I need to do now is quit stressing and put them online. A million other plus size girls do and they look incredible. Boo! Still, I love them. Viewing a self portrait is like a sneak peak inside your life, your wardrobe and your personality. Even if you use them as a way of projecting who you would like to be, is that really a bad thing? I don’t think so.

Here’s some favourites to get your creative juices flowing:

The Photographer: Miss Lulu & The Teaspoon Shortage aka Lucia Holm

This girl is incredible. Her Flickr profile was one of the first I found when I joined the site a few years back. I’ve been checking it weekly ever since. Apart from seriously crushing on Lucia’s hair, her self portraits are simple, clean, creative and incredibly well lit. The last image is my favourite.

Twitter || Model Mayhem || Lucia Holm Photography

The Blogger: Elsa Billgren – Need Help Dressing? (Swedish Elle)

I stumbled across an image of Elsa in a floral vintage dress on Lauren’s Tumblr (Lauren runs Pocket Rocket Fashion, a delicious plus size fashion blog) while I was researching curvy fashion for my thesis. Talk about crush at first sight. I think I’ve gone through all the archives on Elsa’s blog, which is hosted by Swedish Elle. The Swedish-to-English translations offered by Google are both hilarious and endearing, adding to Elsa’s alluring appeal. It wasn’t hard to fall in love with her cutesy demeanour, adorable apartment and lush collection of vintage dresses. She also likes cats. Win.